Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
