If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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