i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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