Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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