Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize
