Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
