I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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