Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
