I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
