apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize