I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
