What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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