Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
