The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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