so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
