There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize