The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
