You just made me feel so damn special
thus making me awesome and them whores
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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