Will you blow on my dice?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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