ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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