Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
