dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
