He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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