Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
