well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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