Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
