Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
