You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
