he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
