why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
