It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just blew my weed a kiss
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
