Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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