I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Mom said you looked used
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Someone came in the potted fern
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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