Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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