no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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