I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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