who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i think my cat just said my name.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
