Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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