Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
