he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
