4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
