Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
