i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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