The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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