Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
