i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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