i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize