YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
