Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
