no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
