I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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