i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
