i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
