We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
