Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
