I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
