Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
