just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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