They should really pass out barf bags in church
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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