Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
