How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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