Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize