Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
