he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
