His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
