$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize