he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
