If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
