whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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