Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize