Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
