Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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