When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
