im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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