Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
