i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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