she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
