Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
